Growing up being a girl is different than being a boy. When you’re a boy you mostly think of objects you want to own- cars you want to buy, what color or make you want your car to be. You take every new thing as it comes. Being a girl, you dream of the day your loved one will propose, of your wedding day, of what your dress and your flowers will look like. Will it be in a church? Will it be on the beach? How many people will be there? Will you have your hair up, wear it down? Then you think of the house you want- big white house with the blue shutters (ok.. I have “The Notebook” on my brain..), the big backyard where your children will run and play in happiness.
Don’t get me wrong, I grew up wanting and thinking of all those things, but from a young age I realized what I wanted most in life- to be a mother. Yes I know, this coming from the girl who had that chance handed to her just a year ago but didn’t take it. But I wanted to be a mother when my life told me it was time, when I knew getting dinner on the table every night wasn’t going to be a challenge, or paying for those soccer & piano lessons my child will want. Although my dreams of becoming a mother were a little different than most, I wanted two children; one of my own and one adopted.
When I was younger I saw a movie and the mother had adopted a Chinese baby, soon I was telling all my friends with a big smile on my face- from ear to ear- without even knowing what adoption really meant. As I got older that dream of mine became something I wanted more and more. I never really spoke seriously to someone about it because it was my “secret”, it was my dream and for once I just wanted to have something of my own.
Now my future as a mother is getting closer as I turn another year older, I’m realizing that my dream, what I want and cherish so much is quite a big deal. Big enough to be a deal breaker, perhaps? Now I am in a relationship with the person that I see myself spending the rest of my life with, I have found my best friend, the person who truly gives meaning to unconditional love. But how do I mention this?
It’s not exactly something you mention while at the dinner table “sweetheart could you pass me the gravy? Oh and by the way I want to adopt a child from China”. So how do you mention it? What do you do if the person doesn’t share the same views and wants as you? Do you compromise? Lets face it, there is no compromising- you either adopt or you don’t.
So if the person doesn’t share the same feelings as you, do you break up? Or do you put your lifetime dream aside?
Only time will tell what the future brings; that’s the most beautiful thing about life.. Tomorrow is unknown.