Friends and finances surely start with the same letter, but they are meant to stay very far apart.
When I was younger I met someone, at first I couldn’t stand the sight of her, or the tone of her voice. I was only 11 and she was 10 but it felt like there was more than one year separating us. She tried over and over to be my friend and one day I just gave in. Shortly after that we were inseparable, we would always stay together, to the point my own father was almost calling her his daughter.
As the years passed and we got older, we still managed to stay close. Sometimes we wouldn’t talk for months but then when we did, we were able to pick up from where we had left off. She had a boyfriend for a couple of years who always did everything in his power to separate her from everyone in her life. When they broke up we started seeing each other on a regular basis again. Soon after that she found another boyfriend and like every teenager, she was spending all the time possible with him.
Then I got my very first car and everything changed, suddenly she was interested in being back in my life “full-time”, with her boyfriend, of course. I had just gotten a loan to help me pay for some of the things I needed that were expensive and I had about 1700$ left over as a financial cussion.
I was happy, my friend wanted to spend more time with me and I had missed her. Every now and then we would go out and she claimed to have no money, so I would pay for her supper with the deal that she would pay me back on her next paycheque. Her boyfriend at the time was away in University about an hour and a half away, so she would persuade me to drive there and see him quite often, I of course being the one to pay for everything; gas, pizza, alcohol… Again with the promise that I would be paid back in full- to thank me for lending her money and driving her everywhere.
Then one week her mother had left and she asked me to go live with her for the week so that she wouldn’t be alone. Her mother had left her quite a bit of money for grocery and cab rides to- and from- university (she was also going to university at the time). However, somehow, I got talked into paying for the groceries (which came to be a little over 200$) for the week and had to drive her to school while she spent all the money that her mother had left for us- on herself.
It was all in good fun, and she would always promise to pay me back-this however, changed from “when I get paid” to “after my trip at the end of the month”. Looking back I realized this should have been my red flag (probably the fifth one, at least). Things started adding up and my account was getting lower and lower every passing day. My friend ended up getting fired from her job and I was getting worried, that’s when I started thinking.
About a week before she left for her trip with her family, we were texting and I mentioned to her that she amount she owed me was getting quite high, around 1300 to be exact. I was getting worried; she had no job, so how would she pay me back? When I decided to bring it up to her, very nicely, she completely changed. She accused me of lying, and said that she never told me she owed me anything nor would pay me back, for anything.
I was shocked; this was not the friend I knew. The friend I knew had always been there for me, years before that as well.
During her trip, we barely talked, I was pretty angry (I think I had every right to be). When she came back I asked to talk to her and we met at her place. The person I once called my best friend, the one I confided everything to, was there, standing right in front of me; but the words that came out of her mouth were not the person I knew.
To this day, almost three years later, we still don’t really talk. She ended up paying me back a whole 40$ out of the 1300$ and refuses to even own up to her mistakes.
The point of this post is, even if someone is your best friend, even if you trust them with your life, do not let money get between the two of you. If the person is your real friend, they will understand if you don’t want to lend them money.