Ok so let’s start this off by saying I truly believe that sometimes people make mistakes that do deserve to be forgiven.
That being said, my boyfriend and I started dating in January of 2012. Two months later he lost his job (where we met) and things were very stressful for him; having just moved to a new province for the job he held, and then losing it. Later that month he went away on a trip that he had planned for quite a while, with his friend.
I found out later in the year that while being away on his trip he had made an error in judgment. Although there are no excuses for not being faithful to your partner, I decided to forgive him. It took me a while to get over it, but I did because I love him and I do truly believe it has only happened once.
Last night after the Canada Day “festivities” we returned home to find out John had grabbed his friends’ set of keys by accident. It was late at night but he decided to drive there and give him his set of keys. When I woke up this morning, I saw that his friend had sent me 3-4 texts asking where John was and when he would be over, two hours after he had left home his friend told me he had finally arrived.
When I read those texts my heart skipped a beat, instantly my mind wondered if it had happened again. I forgave him and got over it, but for a second, I thought he had cheated on me. I woke him up and asked him where he had gone last night and apparently he had been sick- he did look pretty pale. I got up and continued with my morning routine, while I was in the shower I broke down and felt instantly bad for even doubting him. I know he loves me.
I love my boyfriend, more than anything. In the past year we have made it through things that some couples who have been married for many years don’t make it through. I look at my boyfriend and I see the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, how do I know he feels the same? I mean he has told me before that he wants to do that, but how do I know for sure that I am “the one” for him?
I’m not saying that I expect him to drop down on one knee and propose, let’s be honest here, he’s not exactly overly romantic. Also, we’ve only been together for seventeen months so a proposal is not something I expect from him. I don’t exactly know what it is exactly I am looking for, to be honest…
I guess I just need to know if we are or aren’t on the same page as far as our future together goes. I have put a lot aside to be with him and because I felt as though our future together looked promising. I would not hold it against him should he not feel the same, but I would expect that he tells me about it.
Sometimes I hate being a grown up.